Final Fantasy 7 is a weird-ass game. I think people forget that. Not only does it have one of the most unhinged bestiaries of any RPG—including an evil flying pumpkin called Dorky Face—but it’s full of moments that are hilariously at odds with its serious, heartfelt plot. Tifa and Scarlet have a slap fight on top of a giant cannon. Red XIII somehow squeezes himself into a cute lil sailor suit and attempts to walk on two legs. Sephiroth pitches a ball of materia directly at Cloud’s forehead and then flies away like Superman. Cloud rides a dolphin. Palmer flees from battle and is immediately run over by a truck. I could go on. It’s a joyously quirky, idiosyncratic game, but everything I saw at this week’s 25th anniversary stream was anything but. It’s all so bland.
